A timeline of sorts in the journey to here:
1996 – I met J during a highschool production of Fiddler on the Roof. We were part of the worst backstage crew to ever disgrace our performing arts highschool. We bonded over back-to-front prop placement and giggling about the Stage Director’s excessive boozing in the lighting scaffolding.
1997 – J and I lost touch as I left school. I came out (to everyone except family) and got into a fairly tragic on/off relationship with my first girlfriend.
1998 – J and I bumped into each other while I was having an excruciating coffee date with the afore-mentioned (now ex) girlfriend. I was so happy to see anyone other than her – I rushed straight over to talk. We exchanged numbers and when he called a week later, we spent 4 hours talking that night and have never really stopped since.
2001 – I met L through her girlfriend – (her girlfriend and I had mutual friends). Wondered why the hell they were together? My mum died and I moved home to be with my dad and sister. L and g/f broke up.
2002 – L and I starting hanging out together. She tried to set me up with one of her friends – it was a dismal failure. Usually helps to make sure that the other girl is a lesbian too! My dad took me and my sister overseas for four months. L and I hooked up at my going away party. I went overseas and never called until one night in Rome I rang and we talked for hours. That seems to be a recurring theme in my important relationships with people.
2003 – 2004 I knew L wanted babies when we got together. We started talking (and arguing) about it early on. I wanted to wait, she didn’t, I wanted a known donor, she didn’t, I wanted only one baby, she didn’t, I wanted to be pregnant – and of course, so did she. Eventually we negotiated and compromised agreed on everything. Her first, within two years, known donor was fine so long as J agreed. After I told everyone under the sun we wanted J to be our donor, we finally asked him.
2005 – after thinking about it for 15 months, J agreed to be our donor, and we started the process at the fertility clinic.
2006 – 9 IUI’s, 6 pregnancies and 6 early miscarriages.
2007 – Six month break from TTC, new fertility specialist and swapped to IVF. Four cycles – chemical pregnancies only. We watched our relationship almost disintegrate from the pressure and stress. I became bitter and angry and lost part of myself in the process. I was convinced we’d never have children and I wasn’t sure I could live with that.
2008 – J moved overseas for work. We hatched a new plan to use my eggs for L to carry. I had EPU on my 29th birthday. L had fresh transfer 5 days later and much to our shock, we got a positive pregnancy test. After 12 weeks of pessaries, 8 weeks of bed rest, continuous spotting and two large bleeds, we made it to our 12 week scan and saw our precious baby on the screen just in time for Christmas. We finally decided to tell our friends and family – and we celebrated the arrival of 2009 with L vomiting (morning, noon and night sickness) and could not have been happier.
2009 – J moved back home ready to take on co-parenting, L continued to be a superstar through a hugely difficult pregnancy and now the three of us are waiting for our baby who is due any day now………………………………..