A Whole Lot Nervous

Ok so we were the only lesbian couple in the class. But after a few initial curious looks we settled in quite easily. We even helped break the ice with a couple of well placed funny comments about which role I was supposed to play. The guy two chairs down and I bonded over shared disgust over a poster depicting what newborn’s bowel movements should look like. Seriously – TMI on the first night people!

The intro and first part of the night was relaxed and informative, and I was feeling pretty pleased with myself that L and I knew so much compared to some of the other first time parents-to-be. But after a short break for coffee and sandwiches – the night took a dramatic turn downhill. Let’s just say that the birthing video was not really what I wanted to see. I have watched things like that before and apart from thinking it looked messy and unpleasant, I didn’t particularly have strong feelings about it.

But watching it thinking to myself that in less than 12 weeks time that will be us – made me suddenly a whole lot nervous about things. I hate the thought of L being in pain, I hate the thought of people invading her personal space (strange considering they have invaded her personal space constantly over the 3 years of fertility treatment), I hate the thought that I will be useless, and hysterical and not be able to help her. She is adamant that she doesn’t want an epidural – I am adamant that I don’t want to see her in pain for hours of labour. Both of us are a little scared – but it’s too late to back out now right?


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