L and I are both planners. In fact, we had already decided most of our pregnancy and parenting plans long before we started trying to have a baby. We were going to get pregnant first time, have a lovely relaxing pregnancy congratulating ourselves that all our preparations meant we could just wait for our precious baby to arrive. And it would be a Libran baby of course (like both of us). We had names picked out, nursery themes in mind, lists of potential music to be played during our labour, potential godparents (or whatever the non “god” version of that is) chosen, and our path ahead was very clear. We like it like that.
Obviously, the universe had the last laugh about that. Nothing has gone according to plan. We didn’t get pregnant first time obviously. This pregnancy has been high risk, very stressful and anything but relaxing. Starsign is still undecided – but money is on Gemini, Cancer or possibly even Taurus depending on when our bub makes an appearance. The names we originally picked (and loved for years) no longer feel like they belong to this baby, we no longer love the colours of the nursery that we’ve lived with for the last 4 years, music choices have been overlooked in favour of discussions about private vs public hospital and delivery methods. Don’t even get me started on godparents/non godparents.
I was looking at our nursery tonight. This is actually the second version of this nursery we’ve had. We originally picked the colours and furniture when we lived in our old house and had it painted and ready to go before we even started trying. Then in the middle of our first round of IUI, we moved (somewhat unexpectedly) and I was determined that it be the first room in the new house that was finished. Although the colours didn’t look as good with the carpet (old house had gorgeous floorboards) we loved this room and all that it represented. But somewhere along the line it became the white elephant in the corner of our house. It became a dumping ground, we kept the door shut, and tried not to think about what was missing. Not a cot, not stuffed toys or tiny little clothes, but a baby of our own. The whole reason that room existed.
So I thought when L finally got pregnant I would be desperate to get in and sort it out ready for our baby. After our 12 week scan when we started telling people, I thought about the nursery a lot. I sat in there at night while L was sleeping, and I tried to imagine our baby in there. But I just couldn’t. It doesn’t feel real yet, even after 3 scan and a definite baby bump starting to show. I don’t like the wall colour anymore, but I can’t pick anything that doesn’t clash with the carpet (which we will get rid of eventually, but not before bub arrives). So I decided to start on the clothes.
So in the middle of our ridiculously messy nursery (see picture below),
that I need to completely empty, redecorate and set up ready for our precious baby’s arrival – there is this.
Newborn nappies, wipes, paw paw cream and dummies – the ones with star patterns on them of course!
Endless socks, bibs and hats! I think we have so many because they were the only things we could keep buying without knowing the gender. So perhaps it is lucky we are having a June baby – I am not sure how much use we’d get out of 50 pairs of socks and even more little hats if we were having a summer baby!
I can’t wait to use all these things we’ve collected in anticipation! But really, that nursery needs some work doesn’t it? 🙂