A Picture Says A Thousand Words

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I know it has taken a long time but this is a post I thought I might never make.

Finally after a very long time in the making, our precious baby is on the way!

I still get chills typing those little words out.  I wish I hadn’t waited so long to post this, but really, it has been overwhelming.  L and I didn’t expect good news after out first transfer using my eggs.  She started spotting the day before the blood test was due and we accepted another miserable failure was just around the corner.  We sent J a message to let him know and told him we would talk more when he come home for a visit in a few days.  We resigned ourselves to the fact that there would be no “lucky 29th birthday baby” and we would have to start thinking about our next plan in the neverending cycle.

Instead of going to the clinic as planned for a blood test and to pick up more pessaries, instead we went to a local clinic and spent the rest of the day organising timber for our new deck – anything to keep busy really.  That afternoon while we were watching tv and making our christmas cards, L rang the clinic and was told to come in right away for more pessaries.  I hadn’t really been listening while she was on the phone – denial is a powerful motivator, so when I heard her say we’d be right in, I was slightly confused.  Then she said, “Our level is 83 – we’re pregnant”  My response was less than eloquent – something like, “What the f*ck?”.  Typical.

So we headed off for the clinic for more of the hideous pessaries and on the way there the though occurred to me that we were in the best position regarding fertility treatment we have been in since we first started almost three years ago.  I was ecstatic and terrified all at the same time.  At the clinic I paced up the corridoor while we waited for all L’s medication to be organised – our FS upped her pessaries to 6 a day and added extra pregnyl injections every 3 days.  When the nurse handed them over we had to ask – “So is 83 good, or just not really bad?”  She smiled and said, “83 is definitely pregnant” and I burst into tears.  Again.

L continued spotting and we continuously went for blood tests every couple of days expecting the worst, and yet somehow this little one was sticking around.  J came for dinner 4 days after the original postive blood test and L and I had agreed to tell him as long as the blood test that morning came back on target.  He of course, still thought it hadn’t worked.  So we sat at dinner listening to him talk about living in UAE and how he was finally settling in and he might stay for a bit longer, and I finally interupted and said, “I don’t care what you want to do, as long as you are home in June because L is pregnant!”  He didn’t say a word – he just stared in shock while we had ridiculously huge grins on our faces.  Then we all hugged and cried and laughed and revelled in amazement.  And of course, his plans of staying overseas longer went straight out the window!

So the 8 week scan came along and off we went, nervous as hell.  The blood tests had stopped at 6 weeks, the spotting unfortunately had not.  We were both convinced that we would get bad news at the scan, but didn’t want to admit it to each other.  L squeezed my hand tightly and we stared at that screen with fercocious intensity.  And there, in the corner of the screen, like a blinking grain of rice inside a jellybean, was our baby’s heartbeat.  And once again, I cried.  Are you noticing a theme here?

That night, it was L’s turn to crash and burn.  The scan had prompted some heavier bleeding and she freaked out that something was wrong.  I was annoyed because I was on such a high – I wasn’t going to let anything bring me down.  By morning, it was back to spotting only and we started to settle into a nice groove.  We booked in for our 12 week scan, we started talking about previously “blacklisted” topics like babynames, baby starsigns, pregnancy symptoms and other stuff.  We started to tell a very few select friends which was hugely exciting and although we were still terrified of something going wrong, we took The Muriels advice, and decided to enjoy our pregnancy at last.

Words can’t describe the elation of seeing our baby at the 12 week scan – it was the most amazing thing.  I had no idea that it would be so “formed” and that we would be able to see hands and legs.  Baby measured right on size -7.1cm and heartbeat of 150bpm.  We also saw it moving around, waving it’s arms and I also believe it was even sucking it’s thumb.  J told us later he sucked his thumb until he was 12 – I notice that never came up in conversations about what genes he could be handing down to our child!  We got pictures and a DVD of the scan and even threw the computer for a loop by having two different age of the mother when it was trying to calculate risk of Down Syndrome (all very low so we were happy).

Like I said, a picture says a thousand words – we are so very blessed.

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4 Comments »

  1. TheMuriels Said:

    We are just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited for you all!!!

    Also, can’t wait to hold a newborn again 😉 YOUR newborn!

  2. MrsPfeiff Said:

    Congratulations on your pregnancy. I’m a visitor at The Muriels blog and saw your news so thought I’d come and say congrats!! Wishing for you both an uneventful but beautiful pregnancy!!

    Karen 🙂

  3. Jennette Said:

    Another visitor sent your way thanks to The Muriels!

    A great big CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy. What a rollercoaster you gals have been on. I do so hope the rest of your time is more relaxed and totally HEALTHY. May you be holding your baby in your arms mummy and mum very very soon. I think it is wonderful that you have J in your lives.

    My partner and I went through almost 4 years of infertility to finally conceive our son through IVF attempt (he is now 5). Sadly we were unable to continue using our “known donor”, a very good friend, and used one from the donor bank at our clinic. We would have loved our friend to be our baby’s daddy. Oh well, not to be….and in the end it’s turned out rather nicely in that we have met three other children on the ITA Voluntary Register (vic) – all here thanks to the same wonderful FS and donor. We can not give our son a sibling, but he now has a good friendship with 3 “half-siblings” and we have new friends with the 3 mothers!

    Sorry to ramble on, but just wanted to share a little about us….
    and to say I understand about the constant fear of the pregnancy not ending in a baby-in-arms. We decided early on to celebrate our pregnancy, and to try and enjoy every single moment of it….reguardless of outcome. We had some scares, but our ending couldn’t have been happier. I hope the same for you.

    If you keep up the blog writing, you have a regular reader here 😉

    Very best wishes.

  4. M Said:

    Kel – you and Sam will be one of the first I promise.

    Karen – thank you for your well wishes.

    Jeanette – thank you for sharing your story – how lovely to hear it ended so well for you guys. I shall endeavour to update more often now that I know people might read it! 😀


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