First Post – Round Two

This is the second time I’ve started this blog.  I originally created a blog about 6 months ago, but I struggled with finding the balance between being able to write freely, whilst still maintaining privacy.  I am not sure I have found that balance yet, but I have decided to just do it anyway.

The story so far….

I have been with my partner L for six and a half years.  Hard to fold that amount of time and our experiences into sentences, but lets just say we are happy.  For the most part we are madly in love, we talk and hang out, finish each others sentences, we laugh and love and plan for our future together.  Without sounding cliched, we were meant to be.  Ok, totally cliched, but what can you do?

Then there’s the little bit that is not so happy – the bit where adding a baby to our fabulous life together has turned into several years of medical treatment, countless blood tests, thousands of dollars and one jaded lesbian.  That would be me of course, L is far more of a  “glass half full” kind of girl, but even she has her limits.

After a year of IUI treatments that resulted in L having 6 chemical pregnancies but no baby, we moved on to a new fertility specialist and IVF.  Four cycles of that and all we ended up with was total despair and a very sick bank account.  Although it was always our intention that L would be bio/birth mother to our first child, the odds of that happening seemed to be getting slimmer.  Although I’d originally been pretty keen to also carry a baby, somewhere over the years of talking about/planning/ preparing and finally trying to have a baby, my enthusiasm waned.  More than waned, it did a total nosedive.  And although I desperately wanted us to have a baby and to be a totally hands-on mum, I didn’t really want to be pregnant.

It seemed a little unfair that L had been willing to do everything, go through so much and still wanted to do it and yet couldn’t.  Our FS couldn’t find any reason why L couldn’t stay pregnant, so with our “non medically trained” theories that it must be an “egg” issue – we decided the solution to all our woes would be to use my eggs to get L pregnant.  That had to be easier right?

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